Paralysis

Last night.....

I can't move. I'm sitting on the couch with a sweet sleeping baby affixed to my chest. I've been here for awhile. Lost in the moment that has likely rolled into enough moments to make an hour or two.

There are dishes to wash. Laundry to fold. Dogs to feed.  Muffins to make.  Movie night leftovers to tidy. But here I sit.


Her breathing is captivating. Her desire to sleep above my heart is fascinating. Her sighs, oh her sighs.
So here I sit.

I'm desperately in need of a shirt without a baby spit-up badge. I'm dying of thirst. I need to wash the make-up off my face and wash the spit-up out of my hair.  I'm sore. My body is once again contorted to make her comfortable.  The familiar pain in my neck returns.   But I can't move. I'm paralyzed.  So here I sit. 

Motherhood is nothing more than a series of delightful, self-inflicted discomforts.  Some physical (childbirth), some emotional (first day of school) but all wonderfully painful.  And for this I thank God.

I could sit here forever.

This is the story of a girl.

Despite my last pregnant post (blah, blah, blah, I'm being patient, come whenever you feel like it), I got really impatient (and worried, and anxious, and all that).  I went to see my doctor on Monday the 18th and got the standard "any day now" answer.  "All you need are a few good contractions."  Then he saw a look in my eyes and offered up the induction alternative.  "You name the day."  We named Wednesday, 10/20/2010.  Lauren's due date.

This gave us a day to get all of our ducks in a row.  Pack the boys up, spend hundreds of dollars at Costco, catch up on laundry, close our eyes for a minute or two.   It was the strangest feeling going to bed knowing that we would have a baby tomorrow.  Kevin slept, I spent the night having monstrous contractions. 

We were told to arrive at the hospital at 6:30 am.  We did.  We checked in and we waited.    For four and a half hours we watched the waddlers come in and out.  Pregnant lady after pregnant lady paraded through the lobby and up to Labor and Delivery.  Labor checks, non-stress tests.... everyone who took precedent over my need for pitocin.

Finally, 11:00 am rolled around and it was finally our turn to ride the ride!  The entire front desk staff cheered for us as we made our way upstairs. 

We made our way upstairs to wait some more.  By 6:45 that evening I was hooked up to this, that and the other thing and Lauren was on her way.  We forgot to tell our nurse that I progress very quickly.  My doc was there (not like Keith's delivery when the doctor ran in from the parking lot to catch the baby) but there was still a wave of urgency when I announced that there was pressure. 

At 7:15 pm, Lauren Elizabeth Callahan made her way into the world.  Beautiful, perfect and assertive.  6 lbs 15 oz she was bigger than her brothers. She was undoubtedly our baby, a perfect cross between Patrick and Keith in her earliest hours.  We were instantly and hopelessly in love. 

At that moment our lives shifted.  Suddenly inconsequential things became monumental.  Her lips, her squeaks, a hiccup.....  Kevin stares at her the same way he stared at the boys.  And we were only ten feet outside the when the breathing checks started.  After less than 24 hours Lauren already had her Daddy-given nickname: Baby Lou.  I'm jolted awake to our new reality every time I hear him whisper her nickname.  For a split second I think he's talking to me (Mama Lou) and then I remember and smile to myself.

She's too little for so many things (as Keith points out on the half hour: Can Baby Lauren have gum? cereal? cinnamon rolls?  Can she crawl? swing? ride a bike?).  Still too little to really know who she is to the bottom of her being.  To know her the way I know my boys.  I sense her, I sense a beautiful spirit to match her beautiful features.  But I don't presume to know her beyond who she is today: a gorgeous snugly baby who screams like a girl.

And so her story begins.

An Open Letter To Our Baby

Dear Baby Lauren,
We're waiting for you.  We thought you wanted to come in September at barely 35 weeks.... we put a stop to that!  Then we thought you were waiting for Mama's half birthday, October 1. nope.  How about 10-4, you little Daddy's Girl? no, thanks.  10-6 Uncle Ben's Birthday? no chance.  And then we were to 10-10-10.  The date I coveted from the time I found out I was pregnant.  I never imagined (even early in the pregnancy) that 10-10-10 was even an option.  I figured you would come early like your brothers, surprising us all.  10-10-10 came and yes, there were contractions for hours but in the end? nothing. 

So, you pick the date.  This is your world, we just live in it. But in case you haven't heard, we are ready.  Ok, as Aunt Rachel pointed out yesterday your car seat isn't installed.  But other than the car seat, everything is ready for you.  Girl, you even have fancy headbands!  And Daddy fixed up your closet. You are set!

We can't wait to meet you.  Keep kicking and squirming.

Love,
Mama

**Photo by Amy Durham- Morgan James Photography**


To view our Maternity Photo Session
www.morganjamesphotography.net 
The password is lc100904

Yours for 5 EASY payments!

After a week of not doing being able to do much of anything (except incubate, as Kevin says), I figured that I would have accomplished something.  I'm not sure what I was expecting but my biggest accomplishment to date is falling in love with this sewing machine.  By the way, my mother never taught me to sew, and I have no idea what one does with a "serger".  Thanks to the Home Shopping Network (or as I like to call it HSN), I have to have this machine (and several other featured items).

Yesterday after the boys went to my sister's house, I resumed my post just in time for the great sewing event.  This amazing necessity won't last long at the Event Price of $699.95.  Free shipping and handling!

This whole experience is becoming incredibly surreal.  We're still hoping Baby Lauren will hold out for October.  Your guess is as good as mine though.

FIRE DRILL!

Last Thursday I started having mild contractions.  At 35 weeks and stress up to my eye balls, I wasn't surprised.  I took it easy on Saturday (thanks to my Angel of a Sister-in-Law taking the boys all day) but by Sunday things were "progressing".

The more time went by the more anxious I became because of all of the things I still needed to do.  The list was endless and the anxiety made the contractions even stronger.  Kevin got up and my parents came over.  And the contractions stopped.  heh.  We went to labor and delivery anyway.  I had a few contractions while we were there but the baby was fine and the progress from the evening had stalled.  Thankfully.

Now I am trying to delegate at home and at work.  I can stay on my feet for about 10 or 15 minutes at a time before the contractions start to get intense.  Kevin has been cooking, cleaning, driving and waiting on me all week.  I'm going a little lot crazy.  We made the baby a deal, wait until October (preferably the 10th) and we will buy you a yellow Corvette.  So far it is working so here I sit.

Thanks to Lauren, we are as prepared as we can possibly be for her arrival.  Possibly more prepared then when her brothers made surprisingly early entries into the world.  Next week may be a possibility but I am staying calm and quiet to encourage her to wait.  I think I'm the only pregnant woman on the block not trying to induce labor......

A Very Short Post

Acid reflux sucks.
  
Nap please.

I have a lot to say to you, but no time to say it.  Maybe later, be patient.

SO very pregnant

I am in the final week of my second trimester and I am oh so pregnant (and happy).  I know I'm pregnant because I got lost on my way back to work the other day.  Totally driving somewhere but it wasn't to the office.  I wasn't on the phone or texting or singing Billy Joel at the top of my lungs, I was DWP (Driving While Pregnant). 

Then I found myself sobbing after listening to an OnStar commercial!  It was the one where the little boy is locked in the car and the mom is holding it together until the car is unlocked and the baby is in her arms (I'm a little weepy now!!).  Then she starts to cry and I start to cry and I want OnStar in my car!

I know we are on the home stretch because I "get to" take my glucose test on Thursday.  Hopefully I will pass.  I'm really looking forward to the naps that will come with the third trimester.

Holding up my end of the bargain.

Welcome to the 25th week of my pregnancy.  Only 105 days left and our little family will convert to this artist's rendering....

OUR FAMILY- by Patrick

Last night at a birthday party I turned down cake and attributed it to my poundage.  I admitted to the moms that were trying to coerce me into eating cake that I have gained 30 lbs and needed to slow it down.  As they assessed me and shook their heads in disbelief, I couldn't help but wonder, "do I care that I am 30 lbs up  only 25 weeks in?"  I don't.  I haven't been the pillar of good nutrition or physical activity but I'm just doing my part!  The baby on the other hand has only gained a pound and a half.  Mom- 30 Baby- 1.5  I'm totally winning.

And my doctor didn't call CPS when he saw my stats last week.  He did make a verbal weight gain note for both of us though.  And he also told me that the reason I am having such bad tailbone pain is because I don't have enough junk in my trunk (my words, not his).  So there.

I'm grateful that it is summer and I can camp-out in maxi dresses (or muumuus as my mother called them).  And I am so grateful that I am feeling better.  I had a case of the vapors (i know 'sic') on Monday (my first in weeks) and woke up on Tuesday trying to figure out how I functioned for the first 15 weeks of my pregnancy.... oh that's right, I ate.

Thursday

My favorite day of the week is Thursday.  Thursday hints at the potential of Friday and the weekend still seems like a sprawling promise.  Thursday is the cusp of what might be.  And let's face it, Thursday is always the best night for television viewing (even if 99% of the tv we watch in the evening is recorded now and I couldn't tell you what program is on Thursday or any day for that matter).  So, I decided that this point of the summer is my Thursday.  Almost July 4th and still lots of potential for the remaining weeks.  At this very point, the summer holds lots of promise.

And, this little nester has accomplished a few things already!  I thought we would tick another major project off our list last weekend.  Floors for the baby's room!  Kevin kindly agreed to devote his weekend to laying floors in the nursery.  My pregnant self didn't see any other option so it was good of him to agree.

Here's the nursery/sweater drying room before.... AND THE BIG REVEAL!!!

Here's another angle....

Kevin fell ill halfway into the project (that's the hallway filled with nursery furniture).  He caught the stomach flu the boys had shared amongst themselves during the week.  He went down hard Saturday night, Sunday morning he forced himself to power through some more work to get to the halfway point.  Now we wait for days off.  Hopefully this is a one-day finish because there aren't many more open days in our summer full of potential.

Although I have had a few queasy days, I haven't gotten sick yet.  But really, I don't have time for that silliness... I have girl clothes to buy, scrapbooking to complete, day trips to plan.......  Please Lord, let me stay healthy.

Pink Lint In My Dryer

It's a brave new world at our house.  PINK!  We sorted through girl clothes and boy clothes all weekend.  Unpacked, packed, washed, folded and sigh, done for now.  Can you see the boys fighting with swords in the background of this picture?  This is still a boy house through and through.

Here I am in all my pregnant glory.  Patrick was taking this picture for me, hence the 5 year old angle. 
UPDATES!  We are over halfway through the pregnancy.  The baby is growing and moving a lot these days.  Patrick and Kevin have both felt the baby kick.  Keith is a little too obsessed with his own baby to wait for mine to kick.  What?  You haven't heard?  Keith has a baby in his belly too.  His is a boy though.   

My baby is the size of a spaghetti squash!  We're so proud!  complaints: I have a serious case of preggo brain.  Excuse me if I can't remember your name or where I parked my car.  I am still fighting pregnancy headaches but they are coming every other day now instead of every day (Bonus).  And despite what my belly might tell you, this baby is riding low and probably will be for another few weeks.  I just have a big belly.  Little Spaghetti  Squash doesn't move above my belly button, the rest is just me.  On the upside, I finally have energy.  The last couple of weeks I have felt more like me.  One night Kevin couldn't believe that I was not only awake (and vertical) past 10 pm but I had also done laundry, made banana bread and changed sheets. 

Names?  Patrick's latest list includes: K-love and Calli.  Our list has stayed pretty short with Lauren, Erin and Caitlin.  Girl names are hard!

The boys are getting used to the idea of a new baby.  Keith has committed to stop sucking his finger before the baby gets here.  And he will be the chief table manners officer for the baby.  He even offered to hold the baby during dinners, "I hold baby in my yap and feed her."

In the meantime, we are set to enjoy the best summer ever while we wait for our new sister.

We're still outnumbered....

5-2 if you count the dogs.  But hey, Girl Power is immeasurable right? haha.right.

All of your hoping and praying worked! This Baby Calli is a girl.

A girl baby in our boy house!  Wow.  I'm thinking it will really sink in when we start swapping out all of the boy paraphernalia.  Or when she gets here.....

No name yet.  We might not decide until she makes her debut.  But try on Lindsay Jr. for a week or so.

 

Blogging for two

Did you figure it out yet?  Have you seen the bump?  Did you notice my lack of blogging?  Have you heard how often I talk about food on Facebook?  Yep.  I'm pregnant.  Baby Calli #3 is due to arrive October 20th and we could not be happier.  I mean really, you would have thought we told Patrick that he was getting a pony or something.

Here are the proud big brothers to be.  Patrick will tell you that his dream came true, we're having a baby!  He's excited but he will be super excited if it's a girl.  Keith will tell you that his mom is having a baby, "it in her heart."

Yesterday, Kevin's dad was over in the morning and asked Patrick if he wanted the baby to be a girl or a boy.  Patrick of course said "girl."  When he asked Keith what he wanted he responded, "I want a Stormtrooper helmet!"

I'm 13 weeks tomorrow and still absolutely exhausted.  This is the hardest first trimester by far.
Kevin has been (even more of) Super-Dad. I could not have survived this without him.  Now we pray for some super 2nd trimester energy (sooner rather than later) and a very healthy baby!

That's What Little Girls Are Made Of

Another lovely piece of flair from Facebook.

I was thinking about that last post about Patrick's ability to listen and inability to hear. Some of you might have inferred that we are having another baby... we are NOT. Patrick however has been planning for the arrival of his baby sister for about 17 months.

Patrick named his new baby sister "Carsa" and knew that she was going to be a good baby. The implication of course was that his baby brother...not so good. Carsa wouldn't climb up the stairs or throw food. Carsa would be a perfect baby who didn't poop or cry.

The dream of Carsa has disappeared. Lately he has moved from talk of his baby sister to talk of his baby girl. Hence the conversation about the bottles. He was quite upset about the talk of throwing away bottles. He started a diatribe about all of the things he would need to buy for his baby girl: burp cloths (memories of an urpy Keith abound), bibs, bottles, spoons, diapers. He also has big plans for accommodating the new baby. Patrick is convinced that he needs a bunk bed. (Uncle Robby had a bunk bed when he was a little boy, I need a bunk bed) He has been dutifully studying the Pottery Barn Kids catalog and has his heart set on the Star Wars Room and the "Spiderman" Bunkbed. Keith is ready for a big boy bed (or so his brother says). "I'll give Keith my bed Mom." Generous this one. And Patrick's baby girl will take up residence in the beautiful crib that has been chewed, hammered, kicked, slammed and "baby-boyed" to the hilt.

My boys love babies. Keith can't quite express his affection with words but he has been taking care of this baby since he was less than 10-months old. The funny thing is this baby girl has a twin brother who is rarely invited out of the box in the playroom. Keith dotes on his little baby, feeding her Cheerios, patting her back..... Baby love indeed.