You Know You are the Mother of Boys if.....

You can identify the exact moment that the screams of fun and delight turn into murderous screams of revenge. 

***Hint: the fun and delightful screams sound a lot like girl screams.  good times.

Mother's Day Gifts

Mother's Day is an interesting holiday.  I have come to appreciate my darling husband's attitude about Mother's Day: every day is Mother's Day.  In other words he doesn't wait until one day in May to tell me he appreciates me.  And for that, I am thankful.

This year, Mother's Day weekend happened to fall on the first weekend that Kevin went back to work.  This is the life we chose, no complaints.  We had a fabulous month of vacation together.  Point is, Kevin was working.  I went into the weekend with two hopes: 1) to enjoy the little bit of special time that we had together at the races (and it was special and fabulous: happy mother's day) and 2) God grant me the patience to enjoy my children instead of wanting to strangle them (ahem, you can't win them all).

As naughty as my boys were this weekend (both had precious toys taken away. both cried rivers.), I did get some special moments with them.  Kevin going back to work was a lot tougher than we realized.  Wow.  On Friday Keith snuck into bed with me.  On Saturday it was Patrick's turn.  So we got extra cuddles.  Nice gift.

We also had an extended conversation about my job.  According to Patrick my job includes: feeding Lauren, cleaning the house, doing laundry and telling them what to do.  Neither one thinks that I have a "real" job.  Patrick says that I used to but not anymore.  My kids' perspective: great gift.

I also got to close my eyes for a few minutes this afternoon.  I probably could have slept for an hour but a boy needed me.  A nap is an awesome gift.

To end our day, the boys and I screened Episode 3.  I love bonding with my boys over Star Wars. Jedi gift.

Now the house is quiet and I'm thinking about all of the Sunday chores that I have to do before I go to bed.  And such is life, good thing I love it.

This boy house is infected with girl

Lauren got her first princess movie for Christmas: Beauty and the Beast.  The boys have watched it at least 3 times (in the last week since it has been opened) and requested to watch it 15 times.  It is one of my favorite Disney movies, I've seen it no less than 100 times and used to listen to the soundtrack on a daily basis.  When we aren't watching the movie, the boys are making requests for songs. 

As a result, Keith has been conceptualizing a Beauty and the Beast-Star Wars cross-over.  "I wish we had Beauty and the Beast/Star Wars movie."

 +

 Princess Leia as Belle

Luke as Gaston

 

Chewbacca and Han Solo as the Beast

 

 But Keith isn't the first one to have this idea......

Just like the Bad News Bears

Except without Tatum O'Neal.  And with a lot more dirt.

Our boys are at the tail end of their first foray into organized sports: T-Ball.  So much about this experience is frustrating funny.  Let's put it this way, the team is made up of a bunch of 5-6 year old boys and Keith.  Some of the older boys have less self control than Keith.  And Kevin and I comprise 2/3 of the sucker coaching team.  The pictures.... they paint at least part of the picture.

LET'S GO PIRATES!!!!

 Warming up with Coach Kevin

What are you going to do?

We can't possibly pay attention 100% of the time.

But when we do..... stand by.

And then there's crowd control

First of all, every boy on the team went for the ball (this was one of the only times that happened this game.  progress!).  Second, one of the boys who may or may not be in this picture has a tendency to tackle and... lay on the other boys (and I swear when he does it next week and Kevin's not there, I'm putting him in time out.  And the boy who throws his mitt at his mother at least once per game is going to get a mama lou talking to).  Third, look at Keith in the next picture.  Getting ready to lay out on the dirt, bringing the drama.

And we hit.

And some of us can actually pay attention long enough to run the bases.

They are having a great time playing and that is worth the ticket price.  Every night Keith asks if it is T-Ball night.  Patrick is just enjoying himself.  And the entire viewing audience is cracking up at something Keith does every game.  Everyone is a winner.

You know you're the mother of boys if....

you are at a birthday party and there is a boy named Luke and every time someone says Luke's name your three-year old says, "I Luke!  Dat me, I Luke."

Bring on Spring!

There is a certain Boy Energy that accompanies Spring.  Lots of movement, lots of singing and dancing, lots of running and jumping, lots of boy.  It is a recipe for a dinner picnic in the park!  Keith wouldn't stand still long enough for me to actually take his picture... proving the point.

You know you're the mother of boys if....

you return home from an overnight trip and get the exact same report from both kids.
"How was your day?"
"Great.  We wrestled with Dad!"

These pictures are from a couple of weeks ago.  Keith returned from his mud adventures with a rash all over his body.  good times, bad mommy

Poop is not funny.

There is nothing funny about poo.  So if you want funny go HERE or HERE.  We'll be talking about poop over here..... Enter at your own risk.

One day ten or so years from now, Keith is going to be very angry with me for sharing this with you.  I figure that at that time we will officially be even.

Keith has (and always has had) a serious poop issue.  We started buying diaper cream by the case when he was 4 months old.  Just the other day I had to use diaper cream on his bottom.... HE DOESN'T WEAR DIAPERS!!!!

Remember I told you about the Grosser than Gross with the crib and Pooplo Picasso?  What happened at Serenity today was so much worse.  I can't even begin to recount the inventory of all of the things that were destroyed.  I will say this: if he didn't have wood floors in his room we would be tearing out carpet.  for reals.

How much poop is too much poop?  When you are the mom of this charmer (his outfit, my cowboy boots)?  I think you know the answer.  This is post clean-up on our way out of the house to see Alvin and the Chipmunks.

I rarely take my kids to the movies so tonight we headed out in celebration of the Poopfest 2010.  They were excited, I was just hoping to forget.....  It worked. 


Triple bonus alert!  1) We got to see the movie.  2) The sound was messed up (not bad, it just switched lower than the usual eardrum busting level and some lady complained) so we got three free passes.  3) And then there was the trip to In N Out Burger. 
Patrick: Plain Hamburger with Grilled Onions AND a Chocolate Shake. 
Keith: Plain Cheeseburger AND a Strawberry Shake.
Meat-eating love.

They are both posing for these pictures.  And they both insisted on multiple takes.  DIVOS!

Good times.  Good times.

Taking one for the team

The following is one of the top 25 worst pictures of me but look how freaking adorable my family is....  LOVE.

See, that's what being a mom is all about. 

You know you're the mother of boys if....

you turn on the bath water only to hear the stampede of little feet coming in your direction.  Once the feet carry their owner to the bathroom, said owner (without hesitation) stands on his tiptoes and pees over the side of the tub.

THAT'S MY BOY!!!!

My heart's desire

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 
Psalm 37:4

Several weeks ago I had an epiphany.  It was one of those epiphanys that very well may be a recurring epiphany but you are dense so it feels like an epiphany all the same.  I realized that God has blessed me with my heart's desires.  I am a wife and a mother, I was made for these jobs, I longed for these jobs even when I didn't realize it.  I don't know if other women feel this way or not but I do know that I take this blessing for granted. 

What's more, I thought the best part of this gig was loving these men of mine.  The best is how much they love back.  So this Tuesday, I decorated my office with Patrick's artwork, just to remind me that I am living my heart's desire.

You know you are the mother of boys if.....

your 5 year old plays at least one Jedi mind trick on your 2 year old every hour. And your 2 year old screams "LORD VADER!" at the top of his lungs in response.

And by Jedi Mind Trick, he means relentless teasing about candy, toys, etc.

"I threw your silky out of the window Keithy........."
"Lord VADER!"
"haha Jedi mind trick, I have it right here."

Early Intervention

What's grosser than gross?
Finding the your five year old's life-long booger collection. Early stages, but a booger collection all the same.

What's grosser than that?
Finding your 18 year old's life-long booger collection. Try cleaning that one without a chisel. Kind of gives me something to look forward to, no?

Mother of boys.... every boy has one, the key is early intervention.

You know you are the mother of boys...special edition

You know you are the mother of some Harry Potter freaks if.....

1) Your 2-year old says "Harry Potter" with an English accent. Okay it very well might be a toddler accent but there is a distinct non-rhotic "R" pronunciation in the "er" of Potter.

2) Drumsticks=Wands

3) Your five-year old yells, "alohomora" when opening his bedroom door and "lumos" when turning his light on and off.

4) You've watch Harry Potter no less than 20 times in 3 weeks. And read a book and a half.

5) Your five-year old officially declares his love for Hermoine Granger (the early years) and her big brain and big books.

You know you are the mother of boys if.....

you open the lunch box (for the weekly systematic sanitizing) and find this...


And knowing that this is a "treasure" you leave the contents undisturbed (after you make sure there aren't any bug carcasses as part of the loot).