Patrick.... Not an idiot

This is Patrick.  He's my darling son.  Some days he does things that are so much like me that I want to scream.   Look at him, head in the clouds... no idea what is going on.   Other times he's just Patrick...

1. My knee is still sore from the run and I haven't done enough stretching to help my situation.  Sitting for long periods of time, not a great idea.  I'm creaking and groaning when I get up.  Patrick caught me getting up from my desk one day and tried to take pity on his poor mom, "Just make a list of what you need, write it all down, I'll get it and you can rest." 
No doubt he was planning on charging me $5 per task but seriously?

2. We are working on a big Accelerated Reader goal.  He brought a book out one night and was frustrated by the incomplete story.
Patrick: I didn't get to read all the pages!
Me:  It's a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book.  The story is different every time you read it.  That's the point.
Patrick:  So I should just start at the begining and read it all the way to the end?
Me: No, it skips around.  You can't read it that way.
Patrick: Well why don't they just write the stupid book the normal way.  How can I take a test on this? (throws hands in the air)
Me: You won't be able to take a test on it, it isn't an AR book.
Patrick: Wh-What?  (Growls and walks back to his room)

3. Patrick was going to movie night at school.  As Kevin was getting ready to take him, I was giving him my final mom mommyness.
Me: Have fun but please keep the over the top silly behavior to a minimum.
Patrick: What do you mean?
Me: I mean don't act like an idiot.
Patrick: But I'm not an idiot.
Me: Exactly.