It's that time of the year

From now until December 31st, we will pretend that Pretzel Salad is a side dish (or even an actual salad) instead of relegating it to the dessert table.  Because the beauty and versatility of the Pretzel Salad really deserves to be front and center with the turkey and dressing. If you haven't tried Pretzel Salad you have not lived.   Let me introduce you:  Layer 1- The salty yummy crushed pretzels combined with sugar and butter.  Layer 2- Cream cheese, cool whip and our friend sugar.  Layer 3- Jello and frozen strawberries.  I know, I had you at Layer 1.

Patrick: What are you making Mom?
Me: Pretzel salad.
Patrick:  Please don't put any cheese on it, just balsamic, olive oil and salt.
Me: It isn't that kind of salad.

If you, like my son, need extra support to pretend that this is a salad (he will only eat it at dessert time but he loves it to death and even sang a little ditty about his love of the pretzel salad), take heart and serve it on a piece of lettuce.  TaDa! SALAD!  See.....

And of course Paula Deen has her own recipe.....   Although I am a fan of more sugar (a bit in every layer please), I do like the whipped cream on top (four layers of love).  But Patrick would call CPS if I ever tried to sully the dish with pineapple.

At my house, I flip to the Reinbeck Presbyterian cookbook,  It will  remain open the entire holiday season.  The competing recipes, the vague directions, the oleo, I love it.

I may need professional help

I am seriously considering venturing out for the Black Friday sales.  Did you notice that some stores sweetened the deal by opening at midnight?  Glorious!  I don't know what I want that would necessitate me getting out of bed in the early hours of the morning or even staying up late for that matter (10 pm is late at my house), but I feel it.... I feel the pull of the Super Sale, the Hot Deals, the whatever it may be, I should be there taking part in it.  I can't remember the last time I shopped the day after Thanksgiving but I think it involved a polyblend sweater and purple sweatpants.

There is something wrong with me.

Let's Save Some Babies

This morning on the way to school there was an accident about midway between school and our house (we really should walk, it isn't that far.  unless you factor in Keith and high heels, then it is 17 miles).  Clovis PD was out there blocking the street and the tow trucks were loading the cars on flatbeds (more than a fender bender).  Patrick commented: "I hope there weren't any zero-year olds in those cars!"  Always concerned about the babies.

THE FOLLOWING IS AN OPEN LETTER TO THE MOMMIES IN MY HOOD

Dear Crazy-Driving Mama,
I am writing this because I don't know you but I am sure that I like you.  This note is a warning, more than likely a FINAL warning.  You see, my darling husband is at the end of his rope.  You have blown passed him doing 50 mph in residential areas.  You have allowed your small children to not only sit in the front seat but sit in the front seat without a seat belt.  You routinely speed passed stop signs as if they're suggestions and not requirements.  You seem to believe that your SUV has some kind of special powers that will generally keep you from plowing over innocent children no matter how horrible your driving.

So much can happen in the short commute between our houses and school, as my boys and I witnessed this morning.  I cannot promise that the next time you illegally pass my husband (utlizing the sidewalk as your passing lane) that he won't follow you to school and/or your house, write you a ticket, confiscate your vehicle, repeal your parental rights for the balance of the week and arrest you.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! SLOW IT DOWN LADIES!!!!

And you may think that my husband is a jerk but he is the jerk that is saving our babies.  What's your excuse?

Love,
Mama Lou

Scoring the digits....

Patrick, the miniscule pimp that he is, scored a girl's phone number a few weeks ago.  He proudly told me of his accomplishment and insisted that we needed to call said girl immediately for a play date.

"Okay," I said, skeptical but playing it out for my own amusement,"What's her number?"
"Here it is, she wrote it down for me!"

Do you think she's from out of state?

A long way to get to a rant about Facebook

Also known as things/people I wonder about.
1) The lady with one lonely curler in the back of her head.  It made me wonder what is worse, knowingly going out to the store with a head full of curlers or forgetting that one that you can't see.  Do you say something?  It was pink and old school.  I just stared at the back of her head for 2 minutes  and finally moved on to pick out my bagged salad.

2) The guy in the 5 series BMW with the license plate FOSHIZLE  What's that about?  Kind of a big commitment to a lame phrase, what's the motivation there?  Oh and he was white and the wheels were stock.

3) The lady decked out in a fur coat and flip flops.  I mean not only do the two pieces represent opposing seasons, they also seem to represent opposite ideas.  But perhaps this was all part of her plan.... granted her outfit is branded in my memory bank..... meanwhile I couldn't tell you what I wore on Monday. 

4) The couple making out (not strong enough, but every other word seems disgusting, but it was disgusting so insert disgustingword here) on the benches at Riverpark.  Yes, I said benches and I meant benches because as the boys and I made our way up and back they kept relocating.  Seeing them once, twice, okay now I'm calling security!

5) My DVR records every episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.... EVERY episode.  My least favorite of the Real  Housewife franchise... and I have repeatedly told the DVR to stop recording reruns or even first runs.  It still records every episode.  It is like Bravo is having a "Bravo wink" at my expense.  I do not like TRHNJ!  I do not like them DVR!

6) Levi Who?   Took  me three weeks to figure out who this kid was, I still don't care.

7) Facebook.  More specifically, New Facebook and whatever part of Facebook makes friend recos.  What is going on?  I am convinced you don't know me after all.   I don't care if we have 34 friends in common, I am not sending that person a friend request.  No matter how many times you suggest that friend.  And why is it my job to make Facebook better for someone, I can't take on that much responsibility, I have a full-time job already.   And so what if one of my friends "only" has 7 friends, they have me and that should be enough.  I mean really Facebook, judgmental much?  only..... how many friends do YOU have FB?  And don't think I can't tell when you recommend my friends to my friends.  It is just kind of creepy this web you weave.  What I want from you?  What I need from you?  I only have two three four demands:
1) spell check and grammar support.  At least for the your/you're issue.  I'm not perfect, we all need help and the phone applications don't do us any favors.
2) how about a little rejection button for your not-so-brilliant friend suggestions
3) and while we are on the topic of friend suggestions I would like to document all of the reasons I don't want to be friends with someone (socked me in my jaw, started mean rumors, owes me money, shallow, two-faced liar).  Perhaps then you will be closer to knowing me and then I will take a serious look at your recommendations.
4) what is up with the non-compatibility issues with the iPhone.  I want to be able to view videos, I want to be able to tag people in my status updates, I want you to work properly.  where's the ap for that?

Burning down the house

If I have a hundred points of energy in any given day I would estimate that 75 points go directly to Keith Management and Discipline.  Tonight when I got home, I found my men happy and well-fed.  I also found various toys and accessories placed out of Keith's reach.  And it was reported that Keith was the recipient of no less than ten time-outs between the hours of 4:00 pm and 7:00 pm.   That's a lot of work! Bottom-line: no matter how many time-outs he is subject to the kid is still funny, dangerous but funny.  Read on.

He's taken to repeating himself three times whilst trying to get out of trouble.  It is usually something like: "Sorry, sorry, sorry." Punctuated by a hand to the face.

His brother taught him to bemoan the absent parent, friend, dog, relative, pumpkin, candy...... Last weekend while Kevin was at work Keith must have said, "I miss Daddy" at least once an hour.  He even said it in his sleep.  I would say save the drama but I guess I am his mama.  Boy that's a lot of drama for two boys.

We taught him how to say, "Yes Mom" or "Yes Dad" to indicate that he is listening to direction/admonishment/information.  He is very coach-able.  Problem is he gives his sweet "YES MOM" and then proceeds to do whatever he wants to do.

Ownership is so important when you are 2 1/2.  Dis my belt.  Dese my boots.  Dat my bike.  That's cool....the first 47 times, the last 120 times it is less amusing.

The other day I was sitting on the coach with him and he passed gas. Me:"Oh, that stinks!" Keith: "Dat me?  No, dat you!"

Not sure who taught him this one but he understands and happily utilizes the phrase: that's not fair.  He also likes to answer questions with the answer: because....

And finally, he loves to help out, especially in the kitchen.  The other day he was "helping" make apple cider, this help translated into putting on oven mitts (always about the accessories) and opening the oven.   The next morning after he "helped" me make blueberry muffins (dey yummy), the oven mitts were still in the oven.... unbeknowst to me.  Small fire, one Williams-Sonoma oven mitt was in fact injured in the production of the apple cider/muffins.  And a big fat: Yes Mom.  Followed by: Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Bits and pieces of happiness.....

A lifetime of joy.....

Hmmm... Silky Sheets....Who could possibly be napping in the basket of silky sheets.

OH! It's our dear, sweet Keith!

Kevin took the training wheels off of Patrick's bike a couple of weeks ago.  It is moments (days...weeks.....) like this that I am so grateful for my husband.  I mean I am grateful everyday but I am especially grateful when he is spending hours patiently teaching Patrick how to ride his bike.  It is of course a special milestone that only happens once (however protracted that moment might be), but I am happy to observe from the sidelines.  Apparently Patrick is very close to two-wheel success.  That's good because Keith is convinced that not only should he be allowed to ride his bike at all hours of the day, he also should be allowed to learn how to ride a two-wheeler.  I say, YES of course my precious boy.  Tell Daddy!

Halloween Round-up

I already told you how I feel about Halloween so I won't say it again.  I will say this, Halloween is a lot of work and seems to extend for weeks before the actual trick or treating happens.  Okay, so I had fun this year.  Halloween in Kindergarten is fun, whatever, this too shall pass....

Field Trip to the Pumpkin Patch
The pumpkin patch was a lot of fun.  Patrick loved the hayride and riding the bus with his buddies.

Best Buddies

Dimitri, Patrick and David

Patrick's class.  I love these kids.  I get to spend time with them on Fridays and they are really fun.

 

When you are Keith, any excuse to dress up will do.  

We love pumpkins!  Keith is kissing his pumpkin.

The completed products.  Patrick's has ears.  Keith's has three eyes.  Kevin's is the little one.  We had fun.   The boys proudly designed their own faces. 

The Halloween Crew (in part).  I love this picture because Keith is either  trying to pull off Jack's mask or he's just harassing his cousin.  Either way.  Funny 

Keith was a spider because that's what Patrick was when he was two (he declared that next year he will either be Harry Potter or a Spider).  In the chaos of getting four kids ready to go and Keith being Keith, his hat with his sparkly spider eyes got left behind.  He did however manage to make sure he had gloves (because Jack's Batman costume had gloves), Patrick's baseball gloves.  He happily told anyone who would listen about his gloves, "I got goves, Pat-pat beisbol goves."  Patrick was a ninja with a small arsenal.  He was very into it, look at his face.  Hilarious.

And finally, the little ones.  Keith, Ava and Ryder with their lollipops (aka Popsicles).  Keith told me that he had fun hiding under the table with Ryder eating candy.  "I hide from you."

If you are looking for Keith, he is probably hiding in the corner trying to squirrel away his candy stash.

As for me, I am glad that it isn't October anymore.  And unlike last year I am totally skipping the Thanksgiving holiday for Christmas decorating.   The cards are ordered and the fun can begin the minute we get 23 boxes of Christmas joy out of storage.  Merry Christmas!