You know you are the mother of boys if.....

You know how to respond to a lightsaber coming toward your head AND you make your kids laugh at the same time.

It was Keith (off-screen) wielding the lightsaber (one of the super-sized, spring loaded beauties Patrick got for his birthday), Patrick is taking the picture. I was hamming it up in a must-protect-the-skull kind of a way.... three words: mother of boys.

Video games and a haircut... four bits, plus a tip.

This morning I was officially over the hair. The poll was overwhelmingly in support of haircuts for the boys (with the exception of Aunt Devre). One day this week Kevin painstakingly coiffed Patrick's hair before school. His hair is finally long enough to curl up perfectly. Patrick came into my office whining that his hair was "sticking up" when he wanted it to "lay down". While Patrick's hair seemed to finally be manageable, Keith's hair has only growing increasingly unmanageable.

We went to the special kids haircut place because this was our first ever haircut at a salon. As Patrick says, "we take our haircuts at home, by my daddy." I was a little nervous about the boys not cooperating and thought it best to go to the place with the extras to make it easier. The kids can pick a movie, play a videogame and sit in a special chair. It is designed to be a no tantrum zone.

We got there early, predicting a Saturday morning crush. That was well-advised, we didn't wait at all. Patrick thought he was obligated to throw the attitude. Patrick felt obligated to scowl whenever I came over to check on him. The rest of the time he watched the Incredibles and played the Indiana Jones game. His hair and his pickiness had his stylist earning her money. In the end he was at least half-way satisfied with the cut. She tamed the patch on the top of his head that has been driving me crazy for a month.


Keith was in better spirits and happily sat and jabbered while watching Elmo. The stylists kept commenting about how well he was handling the haircut. I had a silky in my bag as back-up but he was really good. Since Patrick was willing to go first, this made it easier for Keith to just do what his brother was doing. He started squirming toward the end but he was a good sport overall.

You know I love a good before and after (A LOT). So here it is.....

The best dollar I have spent in a long time

At Serenity, Scholastic book order time is serious business. Patrick and I agree upon a dollar amount to spend and begin the book ordering negotiations. I love books so it is exciting for me to see Patrick seriously considering how he will spend his $5, $20, or $39 (depending on what point I am trying to prove).

The last round of orders needed a bit more restraint. Patrick ordered every movie and cartoon book offered by Scholastic. Fortunately, I haven't been tortured with the tales of Kung Fu Panda (sorry Mom) because I am too busy reading the book I ordered for Keith....for a dollar. CORDUROY

In case you don't remember the story of Corduroy (1968).... Corduroy is a bear who lives in a department store. Nobody wants to buy him because he is missing a button. Lucky bear, Lisa comes to buy him anyway. She takes him home and fixes his button.

We have pretty much read our dollars worth and then some. I estimate that we are currently clocking in at 5 cents per reading. Patrick really enjoys a book with a storyline these days. Keith appreciates my accents (for Corduroy). I am glad it isn't the Transformers story. So we read it every night, some nights twice and the boys are rapt.

I suspect the concept of a bear who talks/thinks, rides the escalator and hopes some little girl will take him home is compelling for my imaginative four-year old. It is still kind of compelling to me.

Our nightly reading habit is the perfect end to almost everyday. Now Patrick wants to read Charlotte's Web. I don't know if he is ready for a chapter book but maybe we'll give it a shot in a couple of months.

Whatever Indeed!

It is season premiere time, we need to stay focused, hydrated and organized. Our DVR already boasts an insane amount of television that is backing up as I type. However, I have discovered a new favorite (a good thing). Whatever, Martha! is a hilarious half an hour of Martha Stewart's daughter Alexis and one of her friends mocking old school clips of Martha's show. In typical Martha fashion, she describes it as this on her blog:

"Inspired by the cult classic series "Mystery Science Theatre," Alexis and Jennifer analyze and make comments -- often acerbic ones -- about past episodes of my show. I think it's really quite humorous and amusing."

Quite....

At Serenity there are two camps: there are those of us (me and Patrick) who watched Martha Stewart's Bad Things, Good Things Halloween special three times this weekend and then there is Kevin.

Even Kevin thought Whatever Martha! was interesting, if not a train wreck. I have only watched one episode (Cigar Box Purse) and I give it my ringing endorsement. I am growing skeptical of so many of these so-called reality shows that are incredibly staged and scripted. So I suspect that much of the off-the-cuff content is Martha approved and some of it may even be made up. I still love it!

My favorite part of the Cigar Box Purse episode was Alexis stating that she is annoyed (and will continue to be until she is 60) by the fact that Martha (she calls her Martha) never gave her a pretty birthday party! No extravagant party just "oops I forgot your birthday, here's a pound cake and a pillar candle." Therapy much? How can you pass that up! Tuesdays 9:00 pm Fine Living Network. Totally worth a peek.

I haven't had a chance to read it but here is an article in New York Mag.

More from the Bad Mommy Files

The boys and I overslept this morning and missed church. We took advantage of our day of nice weather and headed over to the big park. Patrick and Keith both love this park. This was the first time Patrick rode his new bike a long distance. He did really well and he had me running to keep up with him. Yes, I run upon request.

When we got there the first thing I noticed was a friend of a friend and her kids were there. Random park meetings are always great. The second this I noticed was the water spout was on. You know one of those things shooting water out of the sidewalk.

As a mother with a boy who would swim in any body of water (including the dogs' bowl) I knew I was in trouble. More than that, I didn't want to be "that mom." You know the mom who allows her kids to do crazy things that only make your kids crazy because they want to do the crazy thing too.

I waited until everyone had either left or was on the other side of the park before setting my fish back in to the water. It was totally worth it for this set of pictures....

Patrick was playing with the bulldozer (the best part of the park) and was a little late to the game. He convinced me to let him play in the water too. I warned him that he was going to have to ride his bike home wet. He agreed and it was game on.





Our friends left without saying good-bye, I can't blame them. The boys were having an absolute blast, it was pretty irresistible (if not cold).

Oh and did I mention, I love my new camera.

You know you are the mother of boys if.....

You open up the dryer to find a plethora of odds and ends that should not be in said dryer. Rocks, sticks, leaves, bark, and even a golf tee.

This could be avoided if I took the time to empty their pockets before washing their clothes but that would spoil the surprise!

More of the same....twenty some odd years later

First let me say this, I love my dad. To know him is to love him. We all love my dad, my husband adores my dad and as I mentioned before my kids think he is pretty cool too. Everyone loves my dad, even random people I work with tell me how they adore my dad.

If you don't know my dad the best way to describe him is a cross between Bill Cosby (well really Cliff Huxtable), James Earl Jones and the Absent-Minded Professor.

He helped with the boys again today. From getting them dressed, fed and off to their respective places this morning to pick-up, afternoon snack, dinner and shower tonight.

My dad has done morning drop-off before. I was still compelled to warn the Preschool Powers That Be that my dad would be responsible for the day. But in my heart I knew he would handle drop-off and pick-up okay.

I still remember my mom giving my dad preschool drop-off responsibility when I was in preschool. He tried to convince me to chew a piece of gum or suck on a peppermint (he loves his peppermint candy) instead of brushing my teeth. That didn't go over so well with 4-year old me. I was bossy and particular (I continue to wonder where Patrick gets it) so he had his hands full.

In retrospect, I should have been a little more specific about the boys' clothes. I didn't see this in person but figured it out on the back end. Keith wore his monkey pj shirt for the day ("His fan club didn't seem to mind" says My Dad). You can see from the picture link, his belly is barely contained by that pj shirt. And Patrick wore Keith's dirty shorts from Wednesday! I am still wondering how my four-year old fit into 12-18 month shorts.

There was also some confusion over the pjs tonight after their shower. I was there by then but didn't correct it. Patrick packed himself 4 pieces of pjs, none of which matched. It worked out well since Keith wore his pjs during the day. So my dad put two of Patrick's pj pieces on Keith. So my 17 month old was wearing 4T pjs. Whatever works right?

Thanks for helping me Dad! I really appreciate your help and I had a good laugh too!

Hi! I'm A Mean Mommy!

I was told that I am a mean mommy. A certain teacher at preschool told me yesterday that I am a mean mom and Patrick is scared of me. It sounds harsh right? It wasn't, she was really just teasing me in a truth in jokes kind of way. But it brought up a bunch of issues for me.

First, the context of her telling me this was that Patrick didn't greet her (even though she was greeting him) and I can't stand that kind of rude behavior. I told him to come back and say hello and he did. She told me that he only did that because he is scared of me and he usually just barks and runs the other way. So then I am even more annoyed that my son is barking at people!!!

To add to that he is also using baby talk and stuttering. The baby talk thing is debatable. He has progressed from straight baby talk to silly words delivered with a baby talk accent. (Coco is a favorite) We have warned him about the baby talk and it has mostly been curbed. Of course I can't help but hearken back to the year when we (Haidee, I'm looking at you) used baby talk for a whole year (we were upper-graders, okay 5th grade. Finally Mr. Watson told us he was going to send us to Kindergarten if we kept it up and we stopped. The next year we traded baby talk for boyfriends and boy-girl parties. We were GATE dorks and late bloomers but the point is there are probably worse things than acting immature.)

Patrick has a friend in his class who is one of my favorites so we always talk. Sometimes talking to this little boy in the afternoon needs its own appointment because it takes awhile. He loves to talk and when he is excited he stutters. Because I know this little boy and because I know Patrick, I am pretty certain that Patrick's newest accent (stuttering) is more like Madonna's English accent than it is an actual stutter.

So being a mean mommy, I first made him cry about the barking situation. Then I tried to delicately address the stutter. If it is a real stutter I don't want to make it worse but I also don't want him to develop the habit. My last word to him this morning when I dropped him off was, "Patrick, you have talked fine all morning (it was truly like he went to bed with a stutter and woke up eloquent) please do your best not to repeat words and just say what you need to say."

"Okay Mom, I'm going to go tell "stuttering friend" that!" And he starts to run off! "No! No! Remember your job isn't to teach him, your job is to be a good role model!"

I communicated my concern with the teachers and they agreed that Patrick does NOT have a stutter and he is mimicking the other little boy. And called me a "mean mommy" again.

So then there was this whole mind-boggling article from Baby Center that kind of pushed it all to a head for me. The mom's question was: Should I worry that my child is too well-behaved at preschool? First of all, WHAT? Thanks for planting that seed in my head, something new to fret over. Anyway, here was the part of the answer: A desperate-to-please preschooler......may lack confidence — and will take approval wherever she can get it. Shoring up her sense of self-esteem should make her feel more adventurous. Finally, consider whether your child's teachers are so strict that she's actually afraid to make mischief. If so, you may need to find a different place for her.

I'm not worried as much as I am irritated. As if a child who behaves well (minus the barking) is somehow a bad thing! Or even worse, making mischief is the desired behavior. Oh I get it: "mean", that's what the kids are calling structure and rules these days. Well let's just amend that whole obedience thing in Ephesians then!

Luckily for me, I know I am not a mean mommy. I am too busy creating fun times with sushi, the hokey pokey and movie night to be mean! Honestly, Kevin is really the consistent even-handed reinforcer. He knows how to be a fun (color for hours and wrestle on the floor) daddy while still being a Father. He sets the expectations and I try to follow his lead. I give him credit for making this week so easy on me (we miss him but being a single mom with two good kids is better than the alternative). My kids spend a lot of time one-on-one with him and I think it shows. They aren't perfect but they are very low-maintenance and lots of fun. I am the Happy Meal and Target mom, he is a Real Dad.

Kevin taught Keith to say "Thank You." The milestone I can boast this week is a new love of TV, especially Sesame Street (TV on demand totally rocks! Thank you AT&T UVERSE!). We even rearranged furniture so their chairs are right in front of the TV! Check out my little zombies and wrestlers (they miss Daddy!).



I did tell Devre last night that I say no sometimes just to say no, which is true....there is a mean mom in there somewhere but she is doing handstands and buying drinks at Sonic.

Haircut or no?

No Brush Required!
No Product Zone! June and July 2008...these days are long gone.





This is getting out of hand. Keith and Patrick are over-due for haircuts. The problem is, I convinced Kevin not to cut Keith's hair this summer because I wanted to grow it out. Now I am regretting that stance. Why?
1) Because now Patrick thinks that he should grow his hair out.
2) Keith's hair is impossible and cannot be tamed
3) Kevin now believes that "Keith's hair is just starting to look good." and
4) I hate combing boy hair every morning. I have even had to start using product!
I've had quite a few people comment on their love of Keith's hair (Devre! Sugar!) but I am starting to think some people are just being polite. "Wow his hair is long!"

I'm posting 2 polls, one for each boy. Vote early and vote often.

It is hard to see how long Patrick's hair is in these pictures but try clicking on the picture to make it bigger. Not that I am trying to sway you but his hair is currently sticking up on top and refuses to lay down no matter how much product I use.

Momma's Got A New Camera!

I have wanted to buy the Nikon D40 since it came out in 2006. A year ago our Canon that Kevin purchased when Patrick was born stopped taking pictures (at Patrick's 3rd birthday party so that was perfect timing). At the time, I wanted something more compact and we weren't in the market to spend a lot of money on a new camera. We bought a Nikon Coolpix out of necessity last summer. Our current Nikon is okay but the shutter speed is such a drag. My boys move too fast to have a slow camera! Well I was able to show so much restraint during my SF shopping trip there was money leftover for the fancy new camera!


My subjects are at Grandma and Grandpa's for the night so I am left to take pictures of the clock and my toes. The top picture is the old camera and the bottom picture is the new camera.

Grandpa (all caps with an exclamation point)

My dad helped me out tonight. I had to go to a meeting (that had slipped my mind given the state my computer is in. i.e., DEAD) at 6:00 so he came over right after work to watch the boys. Patrick was looking forward to it all day. Keith was saying "Grandpa" all afternoon. When he got here they ran out to his car both yelling, "Grandpa! Grandpa!" and doing a little dance. All of the neighbors were staring, wondering what superstar just pulled up in a Chrysler 300 with a mini-fan club!

My boys love my dad. It was definitely a special treat for them to spend a couple of hours with him. They immediately started showing toys and telling him stories. Patrick (my little host) offered him salmon for dinner and invited him to sit down with him to eat. They shared ranch dressing off the same plate.


We have all been trying to convince my dad to retire for about a decade now (or at least it seems). I am implementing the spend more time with the 4-year old and 17 month old who think you hung the stars and the moon strategy. I'll let you know if it works.....


Here is my dear old dad pretending to be Darth Vader. He did a good job remembering some of the lines. He didn't need the voice changer of course.

Mid-day Serenity News

I am home today with the boys so I thought I would post a mid-day update. Kevin made it to Irvine safely and seems to be enjoying himself so far. The program is small (about 20 people or so) which is nice because it is more personalized. One of his professors wanted to discuss gang issues with him and there are some interesting people in his class.

Grandma Carolyn called this morning, Jack is sick so I kept the boys home and rearranged my meetings to conference calls. I miss working from home, lunch with the boys etc.

Patrick is my mini-Kevin this week. He got himself dressed and even put on Dad's shoes to get the newspaper for me.

We had the luxury of playing before breakfast. The boys had oatmeal and Costco raspberries. Patrick (little Martha) was filling his raspberries with oatmeal. Keith (little beast) was sticking his entire face in the bowl to ensure he got every last morsel. Keith also ate his lunch out of a medicine dispenser (the cup style) that he snatched out of the drawer.




Patrick got rain boots from Uncle Ben and Katy for his birthday. Uncle Ben told him not to wear them until it rained, Patrick took that to heart. A couple of weeks ago he was asking to go to Louisiana because it was raining there. Last night he was sporting the underwear and rain boot look. Then today we had a conversation about storms and hurricanes and rain.


Patrick: I wish it was raining at our house.
Mom: Me too, we really need rain in the Valley. All of the farmers would like it to rain, their fruits and vegetables are dying because there isn't enough water.
Patrick: Maybe God will make it rain for us.
Mom: Maybe you should say a prayer and ask God for rain to help the farmers.
Patrick: Dear God, Please bring rain for me to play in the puddles. And for the farmers fruits and veggies and everything else. Please God please make it rain for us all. Amen.

My Heart Beeps For You

I am going to try to blog every day this week for Kevin. He left today for Irvine and he'll be gone all week. He's packing his new backpack, getting ready to hit the road. If he misses us half as much as we miss him, he'll need these updates and pictures. So here it goes...

As soon as Patrick's last friend left the party last night he repeated the following mantra: I AM NOT TIRED. WHEN I GET HOME I AM GOING TO PLAY WITH MY NEW TOYS. Our Pump It Up attendant was cracking up when he was loading the Expedition because Patrick (as always) was relentless. We promised him that he would have time to play today after church. He got some really fun toys and opened and played with every last one.

Both Patrick and Keith wore the Darth Vadar helmet today. Dr. Matt thought it would be funny to have Patrick say: "I am Robert Fox"

Patrick even had a friend over to help him break in the new toys, he was having a great day. I wanted to take a picture of him with his toys for thank-you's. I finally put my finger on the latest four-year old behavior from my boy: whenever I take a picture he is attempting to portray an emotion. The one below (which was supposed to be "thanks for the presents! I am so happy!") is "frightened," his word not mine. This was the second take.

We had a nice family dinner and agreed to watch "Jon & Kate Plus 8" and eat leftover cake. During dinner Patrick was telling me that his "heartbeep" was telling him that he is missing Dad, which is interesting since it is usually his stomach that determines his feelings. He also told me that he is grateful for everything I do, especially letting him watch "Johnny and Caitlin". His heartbeep told him of course. But I know that it is his dad who taught him to express gratitude for his mom (see why I love my husband so much!).

Keith's new thing (a 17 month old behavior that I am just as slow to catch on to) is grabbing your wrist and snuggling with your hand. It is pretty funny other than the fact that he always does it at the dinner table. But tonight what I realized was he was saying something too: I LOVE YOU.

We watched last week's Jon and Kate (after cleaning the kitchen and finding some order in the playroom) it was the camp-out episode ****I just realized in linking the TLC website that Jon Gosselin and I have the same birth date. Not birthday, birth date. Weird**** Both boys were sitting on my lap, I was loving life. Patrick says to me (in between bossing me about fast forwarding too far), "let's go to Campus Club and then we can go camping too." Campus Club, he must of heard that at school right?

After tv I was trying to get some pictures for my upcoming blog about the boys hair, which was of course behaving very well today. Patrick is a budding photographer and usually gets some pretty good shots. But for some reason whenever he takes pictures of me, my eyes are closed. He was taking a pictures of me and Keith and commented that my eyes were almost closed. They weren't but the picture was mostly of the fireplace so I deleted it. As soon as Keith heard the word "eye" he came running over to poke his brother in the eye. He is proud that he knows "eye". This is him identifying his cute little nose.


After the eye poke we had showers, cuddles and books. One day down, five to go.....