Hi! I'm A Mean Mommy!

I was told that I am a mean mommy. A certain teacher at preschool told me yesterday that I am a mean mom and Patrick is scared of me. It sounds harsh right? It wasn't, she was really just teasing me in a truth in jokes kind of way. But it brought up a bunch of issues for me.

First, the context of her telling me this was that Patrick didn't greet her (even though she was greeting him) and I can't stand that kind of rude behavior. I told him to come back and say hello and he did. She told me that he only did that because he is scared of me and he usually just barks and runs the other way. So then I am even more annoyed that my son is barking at people!!!

To add to that he is also using baby talk and stuttering. The baby talk thing is debatable. He has progressed from straight baby talk to silly words delivered with a baby talk accent. (Coco is a favorite) We have warned him about the baby talk and it has mostly been curbed. Of course I can't help but hearken back to the year when we (Haidee, I'm looking at you) used baby talk for a whole year (we were upper-graders, okay 5th grade. Finally Mr. Watson told us he was going to send us to Kindergarten if we kept it up and we stopped. The next year we traded baby talk for boyfriends and boy-girl parties. We were GATE dorks and late bloomers but the point is there are probably worse things than acting immature.)

Patrick has a friend in his class who is one of my favorites so we always talk. Sometimes talking to this little boy in the afternoon needs its own appointment because it takes awhile. He loves to talk and when he is excited he stutters. Because I know this little boy and because I know Patrick, I am pretty certain that Patrick's newest accent (stuttering) is more like Madonna's English accent than it is an actual stutter.

So being a mean mommy, I first made him cry about the barking situation. Then I tried to delicately address the stutter. If it is a real stutter I don't want to make it worse but I also don't want him to develop the habit. My last word to him this morning when I dropped him off was, "Patrick, you have talked fine all morning (it was truly like he went to bed with a stutter and woke up eloquent) please do your best not to repeat words and just say what you need to say."

"Okay Mom, I'm going to go tell "stuttering friend" that!" And he starts to run off! "No! No! Remember your job isn't to teach him, your job is to be a good role model!"

I communicated my concern with the teachers and they agreed that Patrick does NOT have a stutter and he is mimicking the other little boy. And called me a "mean mommy" again.

So then there was this whole mind-boggling article from Baby Center that kind of pushed it all to a head for me. The mom's question was: Should I worry that my child is too well-behaved at preschool? First of all, WHAT? Thanks for planting that seed in my head, something new to fret over. Anyway, here was the part of the answer: A desperate-to-please preschooler......may lack confidence — and will take approval wherever she can get it. Shoring up her sense of self-esteem should make her feel more adventurous. Finally, consider whether your child's teachers are so strict that she's actually afraid to make mischief. If so, you may need to find a different place for her.

I'm not worried as much as I am irritated. As if a child who behaves well (minus the barking) is somehow a bad thing! Or even worse, making mischief is the desired behavior. Oh I get it: "mean", that's what the kids are calling structure and rules these days. Well let's just amend that whole obedience thing in Ephesians then!

Luckily for me, I know I am not a mean mommy. I am too busy creating fun times with sushi, the hokey pokey and movie night to be mean! Honestly, Kevin is really the consistent even-handed reinforcer. He knows how to be a fun (color for hours and wrestle on the floor) daddy while still being a Father. He sets the expectations and I try to follow his lead. I give him credit for making this week so easy on me (we miss him but being a single mom with two good kids is better than the alternative). My kids spend a lot of time one-on-one with him and I think it shows. They aren't perfect but they are very low-maintenance and lots of fun. I am the Happy Meal and Target mom, he is a Real Dad.

Kevin taught Keith to say "Thank You." The milestone I can boast this week is a new love of TV, especially Sesame Street (TV on demand totally rocks! Thank you AT&T UVERSE!). We even rearranged furniture so their chairs are right in front of the TV! Check out my little zombies and wrestlers (they miss Daddy!).



I did tell Devre last night that I say no sometimes just to say no, which is true....there is a mean mom in there somewhere but she is doing handstands and buying drinks at Sonic.